A drone shot of the Greek coastline at dawn, the campfire now embers, as the I’m a Celebrity… logo fades in—slightly dusty, slightly epic.

(Already rolling up sleeves) “Snakes don’t scare me. I once had a fight with Alan Shearer in a kebab shop.”

The arena is a massive, rock-hewn cavern. In the center: a Plexiglas coffin filled with non-venomous but very angry grass snakes, plus a layer of week-old moussaka. Overhead, cameras glide in 1080p glory, catching every slither and flinch.