"My son’s cream started heating up to 104 degrees at 2 AM," reported "MomOfLeo22" from Ohio. "The app said he was ‘experiencing blissful calm.’ He was screaming."
Disclaimer: This article is a work of speculative fiction based on trends in IoT security and consumer tech. As of this writing, no commercially available lotion contains Wi-Fi or haptic motors. Always verify product claims before applying anything to a child’s skin.
Then came the ransom notes.